Browse Tag by toxic relationship
365, Prose, Writings

You bring out the worst in me

They say that the person you like or love would make you want to become a better person, that they would inspire you to become the best version of yourself. So why then whenever I think of you I love myself a little less and hate myself a little bit more, until all I have is hatred for myself? Why then whenever I think of you all I want to do is to self-destruct? Why then with you, I’ve become the worst possible version of myself?

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #34

I’ve written this a long long time ago, like years ago, and I’ve just seen this again on my FB memories. I’m not even so sure if this is really from me. 😅 But I know it is. I even googled this if it’s from someone I just quoted out to be sure, but nothing came out. 😄

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365, Poetry, Writings

A love that can withstand

She used to believe on a love that never lasts
Her innocent heart dreamt of a life that only exists
On fairytale books and hollywood movies
Until a boy with lightning on his eyes
Thunder on his voice, and fire on his kisses
Came and swept her off her feet,
Whispering her promises of heaven and hell.

But he was all hell and never heaven.

Now she only believes on a love
That can withstand the damage made on her heart,
And as strong as the swords forge
From the fires of hell
That she’s been through.

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365, Prose, Writings

Count my scars gently for it still hurts

You once asked me where I got all my scars, and I said, “it’s from people who have the concept of love and pain all blurred together, who thought they have a right to my body just because they ‘love’ me, from people who thought that to love is to have, and to commit is to possess, and that the only way they knew I love them was if I said yes every time. It’s from people who doesn’t believe in gentle kisses and warm hugs, it’s from people who loved with hatred in their hearts, from people who thought that the only way to have me, and to claim me as their own, was if they left something tangible of their existence on me, so they painted my skin every time, with bruises, scratches, and cuts, and marked me with their burnt out cigarettes.”

I smiled to him. “You can count my scars love, but gently please, it still hurts. It never stops hurting.”

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #16

– – –

Sometimes I avoided to write topics like this because it’s just so so so painful, you have no idea how much it pains me to write this.  

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365, Poetry, Writings

A black and blue poem

You left me a black and blue bruise
In favor of a damsel with a black and blue heart
And you claim that I just trip
on a black and blue pavement
On our way to our black and blue house
Where you are the king, and I’m your lowly maid
Serving you a black and blue poison
In a guise of a black and blue rum, serve cold
as cold as your black and blue soul.

– – –

Just purging out the black and blue phrase, as it got stuck on my mind. 😅 

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