Browse Tag by relationship
365, Prose, Writings

This is how I’d fallen out of love of him

This is how I’d fallen out of love of him:

I didn’t. It just that one day I woke up, and I just.. I just didn’t feel anything for him. Not love, not like, not hate, nor anger, not even sadness or disappointment, just.. nothing. Like my heart entered a sudden oblivion, and it just forgot. It forgot to remember to care for him or to think of him, and in a blink of an eye, everything about him, every feelings I associated with him is erased, and he didn’t matter anymore. Like he never really mattered at all.

And I’m okay with it. I mean, it’s a lot like looking at a blank grey canvas, what do you suppose to feel about it? Nothing, right? Nothing and just okay.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #33

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365, Prose, Writings

Landmines

There are people I wish I didn’t lay myself bared, open, and vulnerable. People I wish I didn’t share my innermost thoughts, musings, and feelings. People I regret sharing myself. Friends and lovers alike. I feel like the few times I’ve finally trusted someone, are the times that I’ve trusted the wrong person. It’s like the universe telling me, “darling, when will you learn? This world is full of landmines and fucked up people disguised as your friends and lovers, and they will keep on hurting you if you will not learn how to shut up your damn heart.”

And what’s funny is I always thought you belong to those kind of people, but in the end, you’re the only one that stays, and you’re the only one that I didn’t regret sharing myself. Or maybe I’m wrong again. In any case, sweetheart, please don’t turn up like them.

// excerpt from a book i’ll never write #22

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365, Poetry, Writings

A love that can withstand

She used to believe on a love that never lasts
Her innocent heart dreamt of a life that only exists
On fairytale books and hollywood movies
Until a boy with lightning on his eyes
Thunder on his voice, and fire on his kisses
Came and swept her off her feet,
Whispering her promises of heaven and hell.

But he was all hell and never heaven.

Now she only believes on a love
That can withstand the damage made on her heart,
And as strong as the swords forge
From the fires of hell
That she’s been through.

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365, Prose, Writings

The magic of new beginnings

Do you know that feeling when things are about to end and you’ve finally accepted it? I’m not talking about things ending and still wishing for it to be like before. This is the type that you’ve finally accepted it, and you’re now hoping for a new beginning. The type of feeling that blooms in your chest and you’re a little bit excited and giddy, and wishful and hopeful of what’s yet to come. The feeling of acceptance mixed with the anticipation of the future. Will you meet him at the subway station when you’re about to go home, or at the coffee shop where you always frequent to? Will you meet him on a rainy night when you forget your umbrella and he’s just standing there on a sidewalk looking like an angel in disguise? Or probably you’ll meet him on the most mundane way, when a friend of yours will just casually introduce him to you, without any motive of linking you two together, but somehow your eyes meet and your laughters sync, and you just both click.

It’s almost like the feeling you get when Christmas season is about to start, the feeling of festivity, of anticipation, of hope. It’s like this time, anything can happen and finally, finally, you’re ready to grasp and trust the magic that comes with new beginnings.

Relish this feeling when you get it. Hold on to it. It’s your heart way of whispering, “Hey, I’m getting there, I’m healing, I’m getting okay, we are about there, just hold on, we could do this.”

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365, Poetry, Writings

Fairytale no more

Our love story was supposed to end
with a happily ever after
But you bailed out
before we even get to the witch part.

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365, Prose, Writings

You lied more than you loved

You came to me armed with honeyed voice, and sweet words, and I couldn’t help but fell for it. But lies after lies, and your once sweet words now taste stale on my lips and bitter on my heart. I should have realized that a long time ago, the devil came to Eve armed with just a serpent tongue, speaking words laced with honey coated lies, and the whole world suffered when she fell for it, the same way I suffered when I fell for you. Love, you were my secret sin, my own bittersweet destruction. I cradled you for so long, but not anymore.

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365, Poetry, Writings

Promises

“What a tragic world we live in,” she sighed,
“where promises whispered in the wind, lost in the sea,
locked in the hearts, carried by night
stand more firm, strong, and unwavering
than till death do us part vows.”

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365, Prose, Writings

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved

“Tell me your secret,” he said. “How can you still glow, how can your bones speak of sunshine when I always keep you in the dark?”

She smiled and took his face in between her glowing hands. “Darkness, my love, you cannot keep the light out of me.” She kissed him gently on his forehead. “I am the moon, I will always have the light in me, no matter how dim outside.”

“Light and dark cannot be together. Will you leave me if I remove the shackles that bind you to me?” He fixed the reins on her wrist. “I’m always afraid that you’ll do.”

“No,” she shook her head, “I fall in love with how you cradle me to sleep each night, singing me silent songs that give me dreamless sleep, how you embrace me wholeheartedly every time the sun disappears from my sight, and how you soothe my sunburns with your kisses.” She shook her head again, “No, I fall in love with your darkness too much to leave you alone.”

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365, Prose, Writings

Kiss me like you love me

“Kiss me like you love me,” he says, my face in between his large hands, his thumb doing this circling motion in my cheeks that makes it hard for me to concentrate, his eyes pleading and begging for something I couldn’t pinpoint. And it suddenly feels like I’m holding his life in my palm and I’m both his saviour and destruction, and I could crush him with just a word, kill him, stab him, and he would still love me.

“I can’t,” I say. The pain that crosses in his eyes shoots directly in my heart.

I press my lips lightly on his.

“I can’t, for I already do.”

– – –

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #14

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365, Poetry, Writings

Trapped

You cannot look into someone’s soul
and not fall in love with them.

I looked into your soul once,
I am trapped for eternity.

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365, Prose, Writings

Tell me something I didn’t know

“Tell me something I didn’t know,” he asked me while we were walking hand in hand on our way to my house. It was our usual past time, a quick game of some sorts to give each other weird facts and trivias.

“I don’t love you anymore.” I said. I took a quick glance at him, expecting him to be shock or angry, but instead, he just had this sad smile in his eyes.

“Tell me something I didn’t know,” he said again, holding my hand tighter this time.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write # 12

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365, Poetry, Quotes, Writings

Lullaby

The sound of your heart beating against my ear is enough to lull me to sleep and calm my most wretched nightmares.

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Prose, Writings

Palm Reading

He traces tiny little circles on the lines of my palm, looking all so serious.

“Can you really read palms?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says.

“What’s my future then?”

And I swear, his eyes light up like a thousand fireflies, and a smile crosses his lips for the first time.

“Us.”

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #8

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365, Prose, Writings

A little bit more

I need you to kiss me a little bit more gently, hug me a little bit more tighter, and love me a little bit more patiently. For today, I feel like my bones are falling apart, and my skin is burning away, and I can barely hold myself.

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365, Prose, Writing Entries, Writings

Next Life

I sometimes wonder if we are each other’s unfinished business in this life. And if we die right at this moment, will our soul rest in peace knowing that we have accomplished what we came here for? Or will this be one of those lives where we pass up the chance to collide, to be more than an almost, to be together, and to intertwine our souls into one?

“On next life, love,” he said.

And I cannot help but wonder if that’s a lie that he’s been telling me from life to life.

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