Browse Tag by relationship
365, Prose, Writings

You bring out the worst in me

They say that the person you like or love would make you want to become a better person, that they would inspire you to become the best version of yourself. So why then whenever I think of you I love myself a little less and hate myself a little bit more, until all I have is hatred for myself? Why then whenever I think of you all I want to do is to self-destruct? Why then with you, I’ve become the worst possible version of myself?

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #34


I’ve written this a long long time ago, like years ago, and I’ve just seen this again on my FB memories. I’m not even so sure if this is really from me. 😅 But I know it is. I even googled this if it’s from someone I just quoted out to be sure, but nothing came out. 😄

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365, Prose, Writings

This is how I’d fallen out of love of him

This is how I’d fallen out of love of him:

I didn’t. It just that one day I woke up, and I just.. I just didn’t feel anything for him. Not love, not like, not hate, nor anger, not even sadness or disappointment, just.. nothing. Like my heart entered a sudden oblivion, and it just forgot. It forgot to remember to care for him or to think of him, and in a blink of an eye, everything about him, every feelings I associated with him is erased, and he didn’t matter anymore. Like he never really mattered at all.

And I’m okay with it. I mean, it’s a lot like looking at a blank grey canvas, what do you suppose to feel about it? Nothing, right? Nothing and just okay.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #33

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365, Prose, Writings

Landmines

There are people I wish I didn’t lay myself bared, open, and vulnerable. People I wish I didn’t share my innermost thoughts, musings, and feelings. People I regret sharing myself. Friends and lovers alike. I feel like the few times I’ve finally trusted someone, are the times that I’ve trusted the wrong person. It’s like the universe telling me, “darling, when will you learn? This world is full of landmines and fucked up people disguised as your friends and lovers, and they will keep on hurting you if you will not learn how to shut up your damn heart.”

And what’s funny is I always thought you belong to those kind of people, but in the end, you’re the only one that stays, and you’re the only one that I didn’t regret sharing myself. Or maybe I’m wrong again. In any case, sweetheart, please don’t turn up like them.

// excerpt from a book i’ll never write #22

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365, Poetry, Writings

A love that can withstand

She used to believe on a love that never lasts
Her innocent heart dreamt of a life that only exists
On fairytale books and hollywood movies
Until a boy with lightning on his eyes
Thunder on his voice, and fire on his kisses
Came and swept her off her feet,
Whispering her promises of heaven and hell.

But he was all hell and never heaven.

Now she only believes on a love
That can withstand the damage made on her heart,
And as strong as the swords forge
From the fires of hell
That she’s been through.

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365, Prose, Writings

The magic of new beginnings

Do you know that feeling when things are about to end and you’ve finally accepted it? I’m not talking about things ending and still wishing for it to be like before. This is the type that you’ve finally accepted it, and you’re now hoping for a new beginning. The type of feeling that blooms in your chest and you’re a little bit excited and giddy, and wishful and hopeful of what’s yet to come. The feeling of acceptance mixed with the anticipation of the future. Will you meet him at the subway station when you’re about to go home, or at the coffee shop where you always frequent to? Will you meet him on a rainy night when you forget your umbrella and he’s just standing there on a sidewalk looking like an angel in disguise? Or probably you’ll meet him on the most mundane way, when a friend of yours will just casually introduce him to you, without any motive of linking you two together, but somehow your eyes meet and your laughters sync, and you just both click.

It’s almost like the feeling you get when Christmas season is about to start, the feeling of festivity, of anticipation, of hope. It’s like this time, anything can happen and finally, finally, you’re ready to grasp and trust the magic that comes with new beginnings.

Relish this feeling when you get it. Hold on to it. It’s your heart way of whispering, “Hey, I’m getting there, I’m healing, I’m getting okay, we are about there, just hold on, we could do this.”

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365, Poetry, Writings

Fairytale no more

Our love story was supposed to end
with a happily ever after
But you bailed out
before we even get to the witch part.

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365, Prose, Writings

You lied more than you loved

You came to me armed with honeyed voice, and sweet words, and I couldn’t help but fell for it. But lies after lies, and your once sweet words now taste stale on my lips and bitter on my heart. I should have realized that a long time ago, the devil came to Eve armed with just a serpent tongue, speaking words laced with honey coated lies, and the whole world suffered when she fell for it, the same way I suffered when I fell for you. Love, you were my secret sin, my own bittersweet destruction. I cradled you for so long, but not anymore.

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