Browse Tag by personal
Personal, Travel

My first travel vlog! #WhenInBatanes

Watch here my first ever travel vlog! ☺️ I do hope this won’t be the last time. And please support me by subscribing to my Youtube channel for future posts! 😁 Hahaha though, honestly, I’m still not sure what to regularly post there but if you have request or suggestions, let me know. 😊

 

Random Thoughts

I’ll be back

My mind is in some sort of vacation, and I just couldn’t squeeze out any words. I think I’d lost 3 days from my 365 writing from this last two weeks, plus today, which makes it 4 days of skipping / cheating from my writing commitment. I’m sorry (more to myself than to my readers). I’ll be back, I just lost my muse, again. And I just can’t use sadness as an alternative muse forever. Sadness is a tricky writing companion, it can take over any writer’s life if not used carefully. So I’d rather used it sparingly and lose my words than lose my life and my happiness.

Anyway, my last post is my 101th piece for my 365. 😔 Huhuhu, I don’t think I could complete it with all the missing days. 😭 Plus the quality of my writings are diminishing (my personal opinion). So I may or may not break my 365 writing commitment, though I’m leaning more to breaking it. Creation takes life. And writing  is creating. So sometimes it feels like I’m losing a little bit of myself in every pieces that I write. Maybe that’s the reason why the best creators I know of, whether in writing or music or painting, are always sad. Anyways, i’ll be back. Hopefully with more happy words than sad ones. 😊 And maybe, not everyday. 😊 Good night!

365, Prose, Writings

Blank Space

Most people don’t know the struggles of not having anything to write when you need to write. You stare into the space, you lie down in your bed, then you stare blankly at your ceiling, maybe holding a notebook in one hand, and holding a pen on the other hand. But no thoughts are coming. Usually, this feels so peaceful, having no thoughts whatsoever. Finding your mind so blissfully at peace and quiet and clear. But then you have to write and your mind is still clear, and seems on indefinite leave. What then do you do? Do you dare to disturb this peace just to write? Or do you give up writing? When this happens to me, I still write. I write whatever comes to my mind. I let the ideas and words skip my peaceful mind and let it straightly flow down to my lips as I mouth each word, and down to my arms and fingertips as I type each letters and punctuation. Or I write about not being able to write, just like what I’m doing now. But don’t stop.

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365, Prose, Writings

Untitled

Do you know that feeling where you just wanted to say “I don’t know what to do” over and over again? Because you literally don’t have an idea what to do anymore and you feel like you’re trapped in this black black void of mess you can’t seem to get out of no matter how fast you tried to run?

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do anymore. And you know what, if you’re ever feeling this, you’re not alone. I’m so deep and stuck in this moment too. I don’t know what to do.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #23

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365, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

Mirror mirror on the wall

Mirror mirror on the wall
All I see is nothing but fraud.
– – – –

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Lately, I’ve been feeling out of sorts, my words never seem to be enough. Worst is I’m recently getting more than my normal likes and shares on my tumblr blog, but I still feel like sh*t. 🙊 For some reasons, I feel like my words don’t seem to have life, lacking of soul, and not like how I used to write before. And no matter how many people had taken time to message me to show their appreciation and to tell me to keep up the good work, I still don’t feel enough. 😔 I find myself constantly comparing myself to the past version of me, to the younger me that could write with soul, and I find my current self lacking. I’m guessing people could relate to my recent writings, but is it of any good if I couldn’t relate to my own works? 😔

I’m finding it hard recently to write, not because of the lack of words or ideas, but because I just can’t seem to relate to my own piece, and I can’t appreciate my own words, and it just doesn’t feel like enough, or me anymore. 😔 

Anyways, just ranting, nowadays, I feel like a handicap when I cannot write. 😂

365, Prose, Writings

Once upon a time, I fell in love with a time traveler who stopped my world from spinning

I wonder if there will come a day when I will stop thinking about you, when your memories will stop looping and replaying in my mind like some sort of malfunctioning tape recorder, when the ghost of your touch I will not feel, and your hugs I will not remember, and your kisses I will finally forget.  I wonder, but all I could do is wonder, because I’m still hoping that one day you’ll come back to me, maybe in the middle of the night or in one late Sunday afternoon when I’m least expecting you, and all my memories of you will flashback, but this time you’ll trap me in your embrace me and you’ll whisper, “Love, I’m here now, I’m sorry if I’d ever stopped your world from spinning, time won’t matter from now on, fuck time, I’m not ever leaving you again, and I’m not letting you go. Please start making memories with me.”

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