Browse Tag by excerpt from a book i’ll never write
365, Prose, Writings

Always you

I dreamt of him last night and he asked me, “What’s your biggest mistake?”

I reached for his hands, but I woke up before I could answer him. And even though I knew he couldn’t hear me then, I still said it aloud, “You. Losing you. It will always be you.”

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #32

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365, Prose, Random Thoughts, Writings

What hurts the most

It hurts, isn’t it? To receive from someone else the same love and attention you so much crave from him.

But that’s not what hurts the most.

To see him giving that same love and attention you want from him to someone else over and over again. To know that he’s fully capable to show you that love, but he just didn’t choose you, and he keep on not choosing you.

I think, that’s what hurts the most.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #31

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365, Prose, Random Thoughts, Writings

Be still my treacherous heart

You asked me one time what do I need. And I almost said it to you right there and then. That what I need most is the power not to break, the power not to break under pressure, under love, under your heated gaze. The power not to break whenever you walk away from me, or whenever you’re near me, or whenever you hurt me with your words and with your stupid actions and inactions. The power to walk away from you and never look back. The power to never fall in your arms again every time you came back.

The power to still this treasonous, treacherous heart of mine.

To say I don’t love you anymore and mean it this time.

//excerpts from a book i’ll never write #30

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365, Prose, Writings

I can’t remember his face anymore

I can’t remember his face anymore, nor how his voice sounds. I used to wish for this, to forget, to not remember, and now that I finally can’t, I do not know what to make of it, or what to feel. I’m not happy nor sad. I just feel lost. A little bit confused. Like I’m grasping the last piece of memories I have with him but I just couldn’t bring it forth to my mind, and no matter how hard I think of him, or how long I take a look at a picture of him, when I close my eyes, I just… can’t. I can’t remember his face anymore.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #29

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365, Prose, Writings

Friends with benefits

“Why are you settling with him? He isn’t good for you. He’s just using you.”

I sighed. “Who says I’m settling? It isn’t because I’m still seeing him means I’m settling. You think I’m the one in love in this situation? You think that just because a girl is hooking up with a guy means she’s settling? Can it be the other way around? I definitely don’t want to hear any wedding bells with him, if that’s what you mean. He’s not the type. So relax. Stop your stigma. I’m just having my cake, and eating it too.”

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #27

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365, Prose, Writings

Photographs

I think you will never know how much I want to take a picture of you when you’re not looking, to capture you in those moments when you’re just being yourself, caught up in some daily task, or thoughts and daydreams that I would never even know, times when you’re unaware, and unabashedly imperfect. I wish I have taken those photos of you so that when this day comes, I’ll have those photos to remind me of you, and remember that once upon a time, I had fallen in love with a boy who never even knew how much I loved him.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #25

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365, Prose, Writings

Indifference

“I’m starting to hate him,” I said to my mom.

“Hate is good,” she said. “At least your starting to see him for what he is, and not what you think he is, at least your starting to know what you deserve, and not the little crumbs that he’s been giving you for far too long, at least when you look at him, you’re not looking at him with this rose colored spectacles anymore, instead, you’re seeing him eye to eye, wide-eyed, and in black and white panoramic view. Honey, this are the few times hate is good. But don’t stay too long hating him, because that means he’s still got a hold on you. Indifference. Indifference is better.”

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #24


A.N. okay, there’s no way my mom has said this. I’m the best ever liar in paper (not-so in person), so don’t ever (even for a single second) believe anything I’ve written in this blog, even if you think you know me. This goes for my past posts, really.  😁  I write sad, sad stories. Some are disturbing. Some I plucked straight out of my life and others are pure imagination. I weave truth and fiction into one, and you wouldn’t know which is which, so don’t wonder anymore. But for the curious and wondering minds, this post has 65% truth. 

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