How long are we going to play
this stupid game of pretend
where the coldest and most ruthless
and most indifferent of us,
will be the winner?
are we still playing this game?
Or is this for real?
Because love, I’m afraid you are winning.
Panic rising at my throat
Heart beating fast
Knees going weak and
Hands getting clammy and cold
But I run fast as I could
Faster than I ever run in my life
Down to the dark alley
Of this neighborhood, I’m not familiar with
I reach a dead end
I hear their footsteps coming
And their callous laughter ringing closer and closer.
There are times that all I wanted to do is to cling on to you, kiss you, nuzzle your neck, inhale your scent, remain in your embrace, be surrounded with your oh so good energy, and never let go. And there are times that I’d always tell you to “let me go.” The confusion must be maddening, isn’t? On those times I tell you to let go are those times that I am hurting the most. And I do want you to let go, because as much as there are days that I will be bright and loving again, there will be times like this, times that all I wanted to do is to push you away, and run away from you, and hide under my bed, and curse you, and punch you in the face if I could. Because it was you who put me into this so much mess that I don’t know how to escape to. It was you who makes me feel so unholy, I feel like I’m falling from grace all over again.
It was you who first watch me fall from grace, don’t you remember? For I can still taste your name on my lips as I fell, and as you watched me fall with your cold dead eyes, and I realized my mistake for uttering your name for your help. So please, don’t ask me to trust you, don’t expect me to trust you, because as much as I do trust you and I wanted to trust you, I will always battle with myself not to.
I’m falling for a second time, and I wonder if you put love potion on my drinks.
Don’t expect me to love you when he knows my demons’ name and he knows how to hush them so I could sleep, while you just know me by my name and you only see me when I’m all smiles, beautiful, and happy. Then you always say that I’m beautiful, but that’s all you could ever tell me about me, isn’t it? What if the beauty fades? What if you see the demons inside me? They aren’t at all pretty. Can you hush them like he did? Believe me, you couldn’t handle what’s inside me. I tried a million times, and I still couldn’t.
He loves her in the most quiet ways, never saying I love you’ s, never doing grand gestures of love in public like those she often sees in the movies with the girl holding a bouquet of flowers from the leading guy, or like those that her girlfriends’ boyfriends do, publicly announcing their love in social media or being touchy feely in public. He never did those for her, but for some reason, his quiet love, that never ceases nor fades, still roars louder to her than the rest of the world begging for her attention.
In response to Daily Post: Silence
Witches are one of the most dangerous people you could ever meet, because they know how to harness both love and dark energies. How someone chooses to use love or dark is a matter of past encounters. Tell me of a witch that uses light and love, and I’ll tell you of a story of a girl that has been loved unconditionally by a man. Tell me of a witch that uses the dark forces and I’ll tell you of a story of abuse, heartbreak, and betrayal. For every girl that turns ruthlessly dark, is a boy with a smug smile who watched her burn and die multiple times and still claim it’s her fault all along, while he was the one who hiked her on the stake and throw the first embers of evil fire to her soul.