Browse Category by Writings
Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

bittersweet beverage

When emotions started to feel
like poison surging through your veins
sneaking a way through your heart
and the maker didn’t design you to feel
but you feel anyway
Funny how comfort zone can be numbness.

It’s the difference between a smile and a laughter
between humming and singing
between a whisper and silence
between sleeping and dying
Between today and tomorrow.

(Written on 03/23/2013)

On Dreams, Poetry, Writings

above and below

This one is another dream
A dream much older than the golden tree
In this, i dreamt of myself standing outside
looking at a two bright stars
with one star much brighter than the second
and the second star hovering just a little behind the first

Then below the stars, I noticed the clouds
moving faster than what I thought it should
then I felt myself being lifted up
and that’s all because of looking at the clouds
So i looked up at the clouds some more
hoping to be an inch closer to the stars.

And oh, everything must have turned upside down
for i find myself above, and on my knees
on a white old building, that look as old as life
and as high as heavens could be
Still on my knees and hands, i peered below
and saw the clouds and nothing much else.

That’s when the ground shook, and for a moment i feared
that this structure so ancient would crumble
and all untold histories would go to waste,
yet it wasn’t the case, for it was a tug of gravity that caused it,
an absolute pulling I felt at the core of my being
so immense I held myself to the ground.

Just then i noticed, beside me on the edge stood
a tall wiry being, a being I don’t recognized
but seem to know at the time
was about to deliver a judgement on me
with not much of an emotion on its face
but hardness, and coldness, and soullessness.

And then I fall, and the last face I saw
was that of the tall wiry being,
and I called his name for help
a human name of my present
but all I see was an emotionless face as hard as stone.
I never landed.

(Written on 03/24/2013)

On Dreams, Poetry, Writings

the golden tree

I dreamt of a gold tree
so high it reaches the heavens,
though by then, i said it reaches the sun
for the tree is so gold above
that it seems to be burning
bright by the kiss of the sun.

Everyone must seem to travel that tree
climbing it till the top is reach
but that i realized is a dangerous pursuit
so i asked my comrades
if that is how it really should be
and to my dismay they all agree.

So when no one’s looking
I blessed the tree by the name of all names
since the tree though beautiful with its goldness
does not possess even a single leaf on its branch
So I prayed, and I prayed really hard
that whoever travels by that tree, will not met even a single scratch.

The prayer must have worked
because in a short while they all returned
all people i have met in my whole life
converged together with sunbeams on their faces
and not, may i say,
possesses a single scratch.

With great relief, i uttered a silent praise
and thanks to the name i whispered to the tree
only then i realized that I alone haven’t climb the tree
for I cannot, and must never, climb that tree,
and on my right hand I saw the scratches I bore,
with blood, that would never heal.

(Written on 03/24/2013)

Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

At first you see the signs

At first you see the signs
The coldness of the wind
The darkening of the sky above you
The tingling sensation in the pit of your stomach
Irregular heartbeat,
Like something is about to happen
But no matter what you think
You couldn’t put a finger on it.

Then suddenly, you will hear something,
A distant rumble, like a murmur,
And you will try to brush it off
Until it gets louder and louder
And there’s no mistaking it,
You’re hearing the Thunder.
You block your ears,
But it’s too late.
The Thunder had already pierced your being.

After the shock,
You go back to whatever you’re doing,
And you realize it is your fault.
You definitely must have seen the Lightning
Even before the Thunder right?
But then you choose to ignore that brief moment
That moment when out of the corner of your eyes
The pink-white lightning strikes the sky
After all, how can your favourite color be something bad?

When you realize what is happening
Or what is about to happen
You tried to rush
You tried to pray
For the rain to not carry on
But right after you stop praying,
Like pebbles being poured to a bottle
You hear the first drops of the rain.
And you sigh.

Then, you hear a voice in your head that says,
“You could stop this rain, any rain, even a storm.”
And you answer, “Yes, I know that.”

But even so,
Even if I could make the rain stop
Even if I wish to make the rain stop
I won’t.
I won’t make the rain stop now.

(Written on 07/22/2011)

Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings


That day,
I wish I didn’t cry
For my tears are cursed
And whoever is the cause
Is doubly cursed.

Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

Be assured then

He believed in me
When I did not believe in myself
He saw something in me
That I myself did not see
He said “I know you can be this and that…,”
While I contented myself on being second place.

I wish you were here
But you were with me yesterday
When I said I couldn’t
When I said I don’t know how
When I locked myself at the cubicle
You were there, your memories
I never thought those memories
Would be something someday
You know how I despised those memories.
I thought you were just seeing the surface.
But I was mistaken.
You saw something far greater than what I saw.
You have said the right words
At a much advanced time.

I will never forget you, please know that,
Even if someone else is making me smile.
Even if I am thinking of someone else before I sleep,
You know that when I woke up,
It is you that I vainly try to search for my dreams.

People always asked,
“Can you love two people at the same time?”
And I always said no,
You will love the other,
The other you will lust.
Be assured then, that
It is you that I love.

Prose, Writing Entries, Writings

The Missing Legend War of UL

There was this legend known a long time ago—at the time when the Kings and Emperors of different prosperous lands would send out their soldiers on a voyage for a quest to discover and conquer unknown lands—about a small uninhabited island that no one could conquer.

Now, this legend was lost and not heard anymore by today’s generation for it was not documented nor written in any history or literary book, nor was it encouraged to be talk about at that time when it was still popularly yet secretly known, for the curious reason that many believed that the legend itself was enchanted.

The legend is about a small mysterious and uninhabited island, which many believed to be enchanted, found at the heart of where the Sea of East and the Sea of West meets. It was said that many Kings and Emperors had attempted to conquer this mysterious land but all efforts went to failure. There was even a rumour that there was this single instance that the Kingdoms who used to fight each other had decided to unite their forces and had sent only their best voyagers and soldiers in order to claim this land. But again, whether the rumour was true or not, all went to failure.

One of the strangest things in this legend was that the people sent for this quest would all just return to their homeland, in complete numbers, unwounded and unharmed, but clearly defeated. How their families and friends learned to know they were defeated was not told. Maybe, it was seen in their eyes, or the slouching gait of what used to belong to proud and undefeatable soldiers, or in the mysterious air that hung to them—the kind that tells you that someone had already met someone greater than him.

And no one, even their wives, mothers or the most charming of their daughters could extract any information about what they had seen in the land or how the battles had went. They would all just shrug their shoulders when asked, and you would see in their eyes that faraway dreamy look, and then they would sulk again the whole day in one corner. Soon, the wives, the mothers, and the daughters learned better not to ask about that land again, and soon enough too, the soldiers and all the people included in those voyages were back to their feet, but not quite the same like what they used to be before the quest. For the mysterious air that the land gave them had never quite leave them until they had died.

This mysterious land was soon dubbed as the ‘Unspeakable Land of East and West,’ which was later shortened as ‘UL’ (pronounced as how you would say ‘ul’ in bull). After a while, the Kings and Emperors also learned not to waste their time, efforts, and good soldiers for something like a small uninhabited land, where they were not even sure if it contains any gold and precious minerals. So they abandoned their pursuit of conquering or even sending their soldiers to UL, except for one King.

This king was a young, impulsive, yet kind-hearted king named King Gavin. He was just recently enthroned after his father died of old age, when the second troops of soldiers his father sent to UL returned defeated. He questioned all the soldiers, but they would not speak about what had happened. He tried to understand the soldiers’ plight and ceased asking about UL, as he saw how the soldiers were affected so much by the memory of it, and assigned them instead to a different military task. However, as what happened to all warriors who went to UL, the soldiers wanted to quit being a soldier. This infuriated the young king, but as he was such an understanding and kind king, he let the soldiers live a civil life.

However, King Gavin could not sleep most of the nights because of thinking about the Unspeakable Land. He was very curious (as all boys at his age) at what wonders or terrors the land might have. So one night, he sneaked to the room of his younger brother, and left a letter while his brother was sleeping, and then he secretly set on a journey towards the Unspeakable Land.

No one has ever heard about what had really happened to King Gavin, for he had never returned unlike the other soldiers who went to UL. Most said that he might have died on the journey, or captured by the pirates, or attacked by the whales or worst the Sea Serpent, or was lost in the sea. No one dared to speak about the Unspeakable Land, because they would rather learn that their King died in a noble way or even in an unfortunate way as long as it was through normal way of their times and not through some mysterious enchanted power of a land.

But those who knew the real reason—the soldiers who had been in the land of UL—had kept their mouth shut, but they rejoiced secretly at night whenever there was no moon, and admired more their King Gavin because they knew that their king had done what they could not do. Now, no one knows (except the soldiers who wouldn’t speak even after threatened) what the King Gavin had really done that the soldiers could not. That’s why this story was not passed on to generations and there were lots of missing pieces, because those who really knew it by heart never dared to speak about it.

Today, no one knows whether the Unspeakable Land of East and West still exists on Earth, or whether it really belonged on Earth, or whether it vanished the same way that King Gavin was never seen again, or whether this story really did happen.


:: This is my entry for Flash Fiction Friday: F3—War is Hell edition. You might have noticed that this is not your usual war story for the tales of war itself was missing.