He believed in me
When I did not believe in myself
He saw something in me
That I myself did not see
He said “I know you can be this and that…,”
While I contented myself on being second place.
I wish you were here
But you were with me yesterday
When I said I couldn’t
When I said I don’t know how
When I locked myself at the cubicle
You were there, your memories
I never thought those memories
Would be something someday
You know how I despised those memories.
I thought you were just seeing the surface.
But I was mistaken.
You saw something far greater than what I saw.
You have said the right words
At a much advanced time.
I will never forget you, please know that,
Even if someone else is making me smile.
Even if I am thinking of someone else before I sleep,
You know that when I woke up,
It is you that I vainly try to search for my dreams.
People always asked,
“Can you love two people at the same time?”
And I always said no,
You will love the other,
The other you will lust.
Be assured then, that
It is you that I love.
It’s been almost four months ago since I’ve last written anything constructive here, and I never thought I would even write again. Seriously! First, from not finding any more time, and then to losing my creative streak, and then to some sudden stupid realizations I have for the past weeks, I have felt that it would be worthless if I continued to write.
So I just STOPPED.
And because of that, naturally, I didn’t even bother to check this blog and my email ad for any updates, comments, likes, followers, etc. Until yesterday when I suddenly thought of checking my mail and I saw this!
And I really didn’t know what I’m supposed to feel after reading it. I was one of the 10 finalist for Philippine Blog Awards – Literature/Literary Category (National) and I am not even aware of it! I felt a mixture of disbelief, happiness, and frustration–but mostly frustration and pang-hihinayang that I was not able to attend the said Awards Night, and I wasn’t able to meet the fellow bloggers.
But oh well, the past is past for a reason.
No need for sulking.
Next time–I’m crossing my fingers that there’s still a next time, and a next chance to be nominated again and (hopefully) be included again to the finalists–I would be more vigilant!
Though a question for me still remains: How could I write again?
P.S. A heartfelt congratulations to Pointless Paranoia!… 🙂 and to all the winners of PBA.
P.S (2) I have yet to check the other blogs.
(A poem on suicide)
Red, puffy eyes
No one cares.
Sucked up life
A living dead
No one cares.
No one cares.
Still, no one cares.
A slit in the wrist
An overthrown chair
Or a high-rise escape
It doesn’t matter, no one cares.
A grey afternoon
The dead doesn’t.
How to Explain God was written by Danny Dutton, age
8, from Chula Vista, California, for his third grade homework assignment
“One of God’s main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn’t make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way He doesn’t have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers. Continue Reading
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