Browse Category by Random Thoughts
Prose, Random Thoughts, Writings

Not yet

She poised her pen to the paper, ready to bleed all the words out, as if by so doing she would be able to purge all her memories of him. But as soon as she started to think of the words she would write about him and of their love that gone wrong, and about the realities that turned illusions, she realized she’s not yet ready.

She’s not yet ready to let it all go, to let go of him and of their story, to put an end to it. Not yet.

But she knows that next time she will be able to write it all down—she must—and put a period to this chapter as she would never ever let this be the ending.

Poetry, Quotes, Random Thoughts, Writings

I don’t love you

I trust you
More powerful and potent than love,
And all the I love you’s
in the world combined.

Prose, Random Thoughts, Writings

Your love must be empty

The glass used to be half-full, never full. I drank its contents and settled it down, it’s half-empty. When things get rough, I drank some more. And a little bit more, and another more. Until I was so caught up with the taste it leaves on my lips that I forgot.. Nothing lasts forever. I looked at the glass.

The glass must be empty.

Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

All or Nothing

I don’t mind being nobody
or just someone else to most people,
as long as I am everything
to at least one, yes one,
just one breathing being in this world.
That alone is enough
but difficult to have,
because really…
Most of us are, sadly,
undeniably,
forsakenly,
just someone else
to someones life.

Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

Running away

I need to get away
before you see all that I am
and all that I’ve been through

I bet it just a matter of time
before you realize
what mess I put myself through

And I never wanted the time to come
when I will see disappointment and disgust
reflected in your eyes

So let me run away for good now
before I get too deep
and trust you too real

And allow me to be
the one who walks away
because I won’t ever manage if it’s you.

Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

Scar

I hold on to you
just like a cutter
holding on to its blade
like somehow
you can magically make pain
go all away.

But every time,
after the storm passed
and the mood subsided
like a cut,
you make a scar in my heart
so deeply, I’m afraid
I will never be whole again.

Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

Entrusting

I know that one day
I’ll be able to press this knife
down to my wrists
down to the little veins and arteries
that pumps my life’s blood in and out

I know that one day
I’ll have the courage to stand
against the cold steel railing
of some random infrastructure
and plunge into the heart of a retiring afternoon

I know that one day
when I cross a street
recklessly, silently wishing
like how I’ve always wished for so long
a car will hit me, ending it all at last

I know one day
When I whisper in your ears
and against your chest
that I wanted to end it all
It won’t be anymore a wishful thinking

When that time comes,
I hope you’ll hear my heartbeat
distinct and alive for the last time
wrap yourselves with my sorrow, taste my tears
for I’m entrusting you my unsung history.