Prose, Writing Entries, Writings

The Reckless Sisters

 

They always loved and liked the same things, from dresses to toys, down to their dreams and ideal boyfriends.

Tara closed her eyes; she found that listening to the repetitive clickety-clack of the moving train was soothing her nerves. It has been a long day for her. She felt like she’d already learn all the lessons that she needed for a lifetime in a single day, and to think that the day isn’t yet over.

She wanted to think about her future life, but her mind betrayed her. Instead, her thoughts wandered through the time she was still a skinny reckless eight-year old girl.

During that time, the rain had just stopped, and the floods in their suburban rose up to the knee level. Their mother had already warned them against playing outdoors for fear that they might catch flu especially that weather conditions were very unpredictable. But they didn’t listen; instead, both of them went out with their father’s boat replica.

“Isn’t it this fun?!” Zara was delighted.

“Fun? This is amazing! We don’t have to wait for father to bring us to the lake!” Tara said.

She and her sister Zara played until dusk, while they ignored their mother’s reprimanding. In the end, their mother’s threat for them came true, and both of them caught the flu, yet they never regretted it.

 

She wondered whether they would regret it this time. What she and her sister did now, was no mere reckless decision. They had thought through this for numerous sleepless nights, studying the pros and cons, the what-ifs, and trying to patch and think of all possible holes.

“Zara,” a voice called.

Tara wasn’t really paying attention, and she hadn’t perceived that Seth has already called her. She was still lost in her thoughts.

“Zara. Zara.” Seth tapped lightly her hands.

Tara opened her eyes, and her gaze fell on a handsome man beside her, Seth, her best friend and Zara’s boyfriend.

Seth kissed her forehead. “We’re almost here, Zara.”

If only he wouldn’t call me Zara, she thought.

“I love you Seth.”

“I love you too, Zara.”

Now, maybe it wasn’t hard to get used to that.

The train came to a halt. She felt like a new person. Her sister must be enjoying her new life too with Conan.

 

—————————————————————————————————-

 

Now, this story isn’t what I had originally in mind. Even I, was surprised about the sudden turn of events! What I had in mind was some kind of a conspiracy murder story, but midway, I suddenly found myself writing about a swapping story of twin sisters!

This is my entry for Indigo Spider, Sunday Picture Press: Travelations. I used Visual Prompt 1 and 2, and I have no idea whether I have really incorporated any of the twist prompts, though, I guessed I have, indirectly.

By the way, I used only 384 words for this story! The shortest I had ever written, as far as I know!

 

17 Comments

  • Reply

    Indigo Spider

    August 8, 2011

    I wasn’t expecting the swap at the end, like that! Sometimes the shorter stories are harder because you don’t have as much space to build things up. You really did well with this, enough information to let the reader visualize things and move the story forward but still compact to fit the flash fiction. Nicely done.

    • Reply

      pinkwoods

      August 8, 2011

      Thank you! When I wrote this story, I was really aiming to try flash fiction. I’ve saw a lot of good writers here in the web, and read their works and I noticed that most could tell a story really well even for a short number of words! And I was like, “Oh I should also try and experiment with that next time!” So there!

  • Reply

    Indigo Spider

    August 8, 2011

    P.S.: I also think you incorporated the twists very well. I would not have thought of it 🙂

    • Reply

      pinkwoods

      August 8, 2011

      Yes, I haven’t even think of it and I just realized that at the end of my story. Thank you so much for the writing prompts! It is really very useful. 🙂

  • Reply

    MyWordsWhisper

    August 9, 2011

    I like your story. Twins and their change-overs! I was not expecting the ending but it worked!
    I am wondering how she will feel 10 years down the road when he still mistakenly calls her Zara?

    • Reply

      pinkwoods

      August 9, 2011

      Well, definitely, that would be another interesting story. Haha. I’m glad you’ve liked my story! Thank you MyWordsWhisperer.

  • Reply

    otakufool

    August 10, 2011

    oh well this is interesting! I sort of what to know more…great stuff!

    • Reply

      pinkwoods

      August 12, 2011

      Thank you otakufool!… I’m happy you found it interesting. And you have interesting blog posts too! I love your stories.

  • Reply

    ladynimue

    August 10, 2011

    I liked this ..
    reminds me of an old tv serial made in my country …
    same base but the plot and build up was gripping much !

    🙂

    • Reply

      pinkwoods

      August 12, 2011

      Really? Wow, I didn’t know that. But of course, someone might have already think of that kind of plot besides me! Anyway, Thank you for reading my story ladynimue!

  • Reply

    scribbla

    August 10, 2011

    I loved the twist at the end. Awesome. And good on you for attempting flash fiction – it’s not easy to move beyond our comfort zones as writers, but we need to do it to grow. In your case, you’ve written a fabulous short story here that had me hooked.

    • Reply

      pinkwoods

      August 12, 2011

      Yes, and I totally enjoyed writing it! It doesn’t hurt for us to experiment in order to grow and to be better in what we do. I’m glad you find my story fabulous! Thanks scribbla!

  • Reply

    Evelyn

    August 10, 2011

    totally weird and I loved it!

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  • Reply

    Ynah

    September 1, 2011

    That was so weird!! ..yet remarkably written.. 🙂

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