365, Poetry, Writings


It’s her gift,
to make everyone fall for her smile,
and push them away with her sadness.

365, Prose, Writings

Ignorance is bliss

I didn’t understand before the saying ‘ignorance is bliss’, but when you’ve kissed her and you’ve kissed me, and I’ve started wondering on things like,

Do you think of me
whenever you kiss her?
Or do you think of her
whenever you kiss me?

I finally understood.

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #17

365, Prose, Writings

You’re my favorite chapter

You are still my favorite chapter that I keep on re-reading night after night till my eyes are red with tears and my heart hurts from the memories of your lost touch.

365, Poetry, Writings

Fairytale no more

Our love story was supposed to end
with a happily ever after
But you bailed out
before we even get to the witch part.

365, Prose, Writings

Count my scars gently for it still hurts

You once asked me where I got all my scars, and I said, “it’s from people who have the concept of love and pain all blurred together, who thought they have a right to my body just because they ‘love’ me, from people who thought that to love is to have, and to commit is to possess, and that the only way they knew I love them was if I said yes every time. It’s from people who doesn’t believe in gentle kisses and warm hugs, it’s from people who loved with hatred in their hearts, from people who thought that the only way to have me, and to claim me as their own, was if they left something tangible of their existence on me, so they painted my skin every time, with bruises, scratches, and cuts, and marked me with their burnt out cigarettes.”

I smiled to him. “You can count my scars love, but gently please, it still hurts. It never stops hurting.”

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #16

– – –

Sometimes I avoided to write topics like this because it’s just so so so painful, you have no idea how much it pains me to write this.   

365, Poetry, Writing Entries, Writings

I will look for you in every places I’ll go

Millions and millions of soul
may roam this earth
But I’ll still look for
The boy
with the dark brown eyes
and a ready
smirkish grin
who once
held my wings
from completely falling apart
as I collided on earth
with smoldering soul
and a burnt out life.

365, Prose, Writings

You lied more than you loved

You came to me armed with honeyed voice, and sweet words, and I couldn’t help but fell for it. But lies after lies, and your once sweet words now taste stale on my lips and bitter on my heart. I should have realized that a long time ago, the devil came to Eve armed with just a serpent tongue, speaking words laced with honey coated lies, and the whole world suffered when she fell for it, the same way I suffered when I fell for you. Love, you were my secret sin, my own bittersweet destruction. I cradled you for so long, but not anymore.

365, Poetry, Writing Entries, Writings

I will wait for you

In the space between your first hello
and my last goodbye
I will wait for you.

– – –

This was supposed to be my response for yesterday’s daily prompt: wait. 😁 But I was in the mood to publish ‘Promises‘ first. 😁


365, Poetry, Writings


“What a tragic world we live in,” she sighed,
“where promises whispered in the wind, lost in the sea,
locked in the hearts, carried by night
stand more firm, strong, and unwavering
than till death do us part vows.”

365, Prose, Writings

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved

“Tell me your secret,” he said. “How can you still glow, how can your bones speak of sunshine when I always keep you in the dark?”

She smiled and took his face in between her glowing hands. “Darkness, my love, you cannot keep the light out of me.” She kissed him gently on his forehead. “I am the moon, I will always have the light in me, no matter how dim outside.”

“Light and dark cannot be together. Will you leave me if I remove the shackles that bind you to me?” He fixed the reins on her wrist. “I’m always afraid that you’ll do.”

“No,” she shook her head, “I fall in love with how you cradle me to sleep each night, singing me silent songs that give me dreamless sleep, how you embrace me wholeheartedly every time the sun disappears from my sight, and how you soothe my sunburns with your kisses.” She shook her head again, “No, I fall in love with your darkness too much to leave you alone.”

365, Prose, Writings

Kiss me like you love me

“Kiss me like you love me,” he says, my face in between his large hands, his thumb doing this circling motion in my cheeks that makes it hard for me to concentrate, his eyes pleading and begging for something I couldn’t pinpoint. And it suddenly feels like I’m holding his life in my palm and I’m both his saviour and destruction, and I could crush him with just a word, kill him, stab him, and he would still love me.

“I can’t,” I say. The pain that crosses in his eyes shoots directly in my heart.

I press my lips lightly on his.

“I can’t, for I already do.”

– – –

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write #14

365, Prose, Writings

Please catch my tears

“I want to cry. I want to fucking cry.” I say to the moon, in between sobs.

I imagine the moon saying, “so cry, I will listen.” And I am crying, I’ve been crying for the past 15 minutes, non-stop, but I still want to cry. This didn’t feel like crying. It’s just tears straining down on my cheeks, sobs that echoes to no one, a heart that breaks silently, without anyone knowing.

“I want to cry,” I say again. “I want to cry and shout and scream at the top of my lungs. I want him to hear me hurting. I want him to see me as I break into pieces, I want him to know how my soul shatters because of him, I want him to feel every fucking hurt he caused me. I want to cry. I want him to see me cry, and I want him to put his arms around me, and tell me ‘darling, it’s okay, I’m here, I won’t ever hurt you again. I’m here. I’m here. I’m here.’ until I fall asleep in his arms with his soothing words echoing in my dreams.”

//excerpt from a book i’ll never write # 13

365, Prose, Writings

In time, it will stop hurting

After a while, everything will stop hurting. You’ll find yourself being accustom with the sharp pain that you feel every time you see him with her. The sharp pain will turn into a dull ache until such time, when you see a picture of them together, you’ll know something has changed. Maybe it was still the same picture you saw from last year that you keep on looking back to remind you that he’s never yours to begin with, that he’s happy with her, that he didn’t choose you, and he keep on not choosing you, but this time when you look at their picture, you’ll know something has changed. Something has changed in you and you’ll realize it doesn’t hurt as much as before, it doesn’t feel like the world suddenly stops spinning and everything turns insanely quiet, and it doesn’t feel like a true heartbreak is happening inside your chest. It will still hurt, yes, but it’s more like a background sad music inside your soul, something that will always be there, something that will always be a part of you, but something that you can also choose to ignore. Until one day, you won’t even hear those background music, or feel those dull pain, unless you really really listen and force yourself too.

Trust me, in time, it will stop hurting. I know for I’ve been there too. And you know what? I can look at his eyes now without wanting a piece of my soul back.

365, Poetry, Random Thoughts, Writings

2 o’clock

I’m just your 2am thoughts,
when you are my 2pm poetry.

365, Prose, Writings

Falling star

I remember the time I gave you a little bit of my happiness, a happiness extracted from my own soul, just to see you make it thru. You were always sad then. And I know what sadness can do to people, how it could destroy them from the inside out, so I gave you a little bit of me, a little bit of my soul, a little bit of my light.

I forgot to tell you that those little bits are all that I have, that I am a falling star living on a little grace, and that as much as I am beautiful to look at, my light is easy to burn out, that I already gave you all the light I have even when you didn’t make a wish, and now I’m left all cold, dark, and sad, and the trails of my light slowly snuffing out.